Polka dots, red lips, and real mom confessions
I always wonder how the lives of other mom bloggers go. What do they do day-to-day; what is their routine like; do they actually get dressed for all day???
Because I have a confession: I am usually not dressed until Asa goes down for his nap. Which these days is around 1pm. I don’t generally feel like putting pretty things on, doing my makeup, wearing shoes, or getting hair all done for most of the morning, when there are two meals to be had that could potentially stain clothes, a toddler to be chased, and no clear sightline to the living room from anywhere in the house. And when you’ve got a 16 month old climber who can get up onto pretty much anything by himself, it’s risky to leave the room. Even if you can hear him.
I always wonder how other mothers do it. Up early before the baby to get ready? Do they wait like I do for naptimes to get things done (or clothes on)? Given, living with people who are remodeling makes it harder; if it was my own house, I’d probably be able to multitask, as we’d only have one floor and no construction areas for curious little fingers to get into. 
But naptime comes around and I usually have time to clean myself up, put on real clothes, throw on my usual makeup, and take outfit pictures before Asa wakes up. It’s a nice little reprieve from watching him and attempting to do what housework I can. (And yes, I do wear the clothes I post for the rest of the day after I’ve gotten them on.)
Although, I still haven’t figured out how to get a shower in there. Which is confession #2: I don’t shave daily unless it’s a really fancy date and people might care if my legs have 3 day old stubble. Not to mention armpits. And with the body hair movement going on right now (which, by the way, is pretty great; I don’t think any woman should feel she has to shave uless she wants to. I generally want to. My body hair is not soft.) I’m pretty sure nobody cares anyway. 
Which brings me to confession #3: I am not an active go-to-the-park, teach all the time, play with the baby type of mom. I know I’m not the only one – I have seen a rash of blog posts about moms who have felt the pressure to be the “fun” mom but just aren’t – and I do play with Asa, and always make a point to put down my phone or computer if he comes up with a book or wants to cuddle or comes over with toys for me — but I have a hard time figuring out what to actually do with a baby this age. Stacking blocks and spreading Duplos around the room and holding paper down so he can learn to scribble with Crayons is only entertaining for so long, and who doesn’t get tired of reading the same book 50 times in a row?
Don’t get me wrong: I love motherhood. Asa is happy and easy and funny and so, so busy all the time, and he’s so efficient at entertaining himself that… I suppose I don’t feel I have to engage him constantly. And of course, being pregnant does give me excuses for not being super active, but still. Mostly, this confession is for those moms out there who are like me, because… it’s okay. Not all moms are super moms. I’m guessing most moms probably aren’t play-with-the-kids-all-the-time moms.
Dress, headscarf, and earrings thrifted | belt, from this skirt and heels (similar), Modcloth | glasses, c/o Firmoo
I see a lot of pictures of blog moms who are dressed beautifully and post pictures interacting with their children, and I always wonder: is that real life, or is that staged? I certainly don’t have time to take pictures of myself playing with Asa (I tried, it’s hard) but as well on any given day I am either cleaning house or on the couch in my yoga pants while he plays by himself and explores his limited area of reach. (We also go outside when it’s nice, where he explores the yard and climbs toys and I watch and ensure he doesn’t damage himself.) Maybe when he gets older and more communicative, I will play with him more. Or maybe I’m going to be one of those moms who lets her kids play and imagine and entertain themselves as long as they’re not breaking stuff or beating up other kids.
I don’t know. I just know I’m much more laid back as a parent than I thought I would be, and I think it’s okay. And I want other moms to know… hey, it’s okay if you’re not playing with your kid 24/7. They need to discover and learn for themselves sometimes. It’s okay if you don’t get dressed until 2pm when the baby is sleeping and you finally have 30 minutes to yourself. It’s okay if you don’t shower all week, or shave, either. You’re a mom. Do what you need (and WANT) to do to survive.
What are your mom confessions?
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33 Comments
Lizelle Joseph
Pretty 🙂
Eccentric Owl
Thank you!
Mikalah
I love this post! I have two little girls (ages 2 1/2 and 7 months), and my mom confessions are that I put Baby Einstein on for my 7 month old in the morning if she wakes up too early so I can doze a bit more, and I almost always watch an episode of Gilmore Girls in the morning while I drink my coffee and my toddler plays quietly by herself. It just helps me wake up gently. =)
Eccentric Owl
Oh my goodness, yes; some mornings, we survive because of cartoons. I am totally there with you! I hate waking up fast.
Rebecca
so many things here! (I don’t comment often, sorry!)
I do often wonder how moms get ready in the morning. I have a very basic routine, so i can’t really give advice. do you have a pack n play? it is a great way to contain a mobile toddler for those necessary things. I am so excited for my 8 month old to learn to crawl, but dreading how busy it will make me!
item 2: i want to know more about this body-hair movement!
item 3: playing with kids – at Asa’s age, I just think kids aren’t ready for a lot of structured activities (such as coloring), so I think you’re doing fine with the level of interaction you’ve got going on! I imagine your relationship will evolve as he gets ready for more complex tasks. Now that the older one is three, she really craves a lot of interaction, so now I am activity-mom, going to the park and library story time because otherwise she’ll drive me crazy!
Eccentric Owl
That’s okay! I’m pretty bad at commenting on blogs myself. Time goes too fast!
We have a pack n play but Asa hates it, and I’d rather wait for naptime than have him cry in the containment. 😉 Haha! I’m a softie.
Oh, the body hair movement! I keep seeing articles about women growing out their body hair, dyeing their armpit hair, etc. It’s becoming a prominent thing (at least in the social media things I follow) to let your hair grow if you want to, and show it off.
Yeah, I am thinking once he gets older he’ll require more interaction — and more question answering. He already “talks” a lot, so I can’t imagine how that will evolve as he learns more and more words!
Hannah Rupp
As a babysitter, I’ve always wondered how the stay at home parents interact with kids all day. That sounds weird, like I’ve watched kids for forever, but hardly ever at my own home. I’m just thrown into somebody elses world and gotta make it work. I never know if I’m supposed to teach, play, or back off and let kids do their own thing. I think when I step in, I’m like an oddity to children and we usually play the entire time. But sometimes I’m like, “If I wasn’t here or if I went and sat in another room, what would you do?” I know for sure the five-year-old I currently spend my days with would grab a tablet and play video games. I gotta pry that thing outta his hands! lol
I think it’s really cool to watch kids play by themselves. I don’t remember spending a lot of time playing with my mom as a kid (she admits that as her fifth kid, she was too tired for me. lol) my memories mostly consist of spending hours in our basement playing with dolls and occasionally taking breaks to watch PBS and nap. I’ve always been a big fan of naps!!
Parents all got a different style and as long as you’re not abandoning your child, I think you’re doing alright!! 😉
Anyways! Your outfit is so divine, whether you’re a mom or not. Your vintage maternity looks have been so on point. Keep up the great work!
-Hannah | The Outfit Repeater
Eccentric Owl
I never knew how to interact with kids that I babysat, either. Like, they just weren’t mine, my friends’, or my family’s kids, so I had no idea what they liked, what they were allowed to do, what they were like, what they needed… it always felt awkward.
Oh yes, playing with dolls (in the dirt, outside) was a big thing with me! I don’t remember naps, though. I probably didn’t like them, because I don’t like them now. 😀
Mom
I didn’t interact with you as much as I did with Josh, and the more kids I had the less I interacted with them. I play with my grandkids so much more than I did my kids. It ‘s because you are so busy with other things as a young mother. I used to feel guilty that I didn’t play with you, but look at you, now! You’re healthy, happy and a great mother, so I think I did ok!
Eccentric Owl
Yeah, you did pretty good. 😉
Emily
Love this! I often wonder what I am meant to be doing to play with Ollie (15 months). I was actually going to post about this as I also wonder if I am not doing enough. Ollie sounds like Asa in the way that he is happy to entertain himself (love noisy toys or ones with buttons). We also do a lot of walking around / he pulls himself up and down on me. He is not walking on his own yet so this will change things! He also does a lot of activity with my mum and at daycare so that is good!
At the moment I can pop him in the play pen while I get ready – I am lazy with my dressing lately so hoping the blog will change that – but totally agree things will just get messy / or are not comfortable. We don’t dress until after breakfast. In terms of showering, I do this at night when hubby is home, and shaving ha! happens when it happens! hehe
I am looking forward to when he is older as I feel I will be able to interact with him more – games, colouring in, going to the park, play dates, free library activities etc! But I do think we are teaching a good skill where they entertain themselves!
Keep up the good work! There are definitely other mothers like you – I only get dressed early because I have to (work = boo!)
Emily https://fashionandfairybread.wordpress.com/
Eccentric Owl
Asa just barely started walking on his own at 15-1/2 months, and he’s still wobbly about it! But it does change things, mostly that he entertains himself even more now because he thinks walking is REALLY fun. But also he can reach things that he didn’t realize he could reach before, which… makes for more pulling him out of places. Hah!
You’re so lucky that you can pop him in the playpen! Asa always hated that.
I agree; I’m excited for when Asa can color better, play more games, and just be more interactive than how he is right now, which is still fun but definitely more independent.
Emily
This is so great! One thing I remind myself frequently about parenting is that there will be stages of your child’s life that you are just … not as into as others. You know, some people really love cuddling babies; some people love playing tea party with toddlers; some people love doing active, physical things with older kids – etc. I was not a baby/young toddler person because, as you mention, IT’S BORING!! Now that my daughter is 3.5, it is so terrific to see her personality coming through, to listen to her playing pretend with her toys, etc. I also remember how I was raised, which was with a parent always in proximity, but rarely down there on the floor next to me. And I believe this kind of nearby, accessible but not all-up-in-your-business style of parenting is vital to raising independent, SECURE children. If your child always has you at his/her side, how will they know it is OK to be on their own? I have such fond memories of coloring at the dining room table while my mom worked in the kitchen, or of playing on the swing set while she worked in the flower beds. If I needed her, she was there – but I grew to learn that I didn’t need her for most things. That presence was enough. And I’m sure that’s exactly what you’re doing for Asa.
Eccentric Owl
Yeah, I am totally a newborn-6 month type person, but once he started getting more independent and less holdable and cuddle-able, it hasn’t been as fun to me. I mean, he’s still SUPER fun, but not AS fun. And I’m sure once he gets old enough that I don’t have to constantly chase him around, I’ll be more involved with what he does.
I agree that the always-assist type of parenting does make it harder to teach kids that they don’t need you for everything! I mean, everyone parents in their own way, but I think alone-play (within sight/hearing distance) is important for little kids to learn that they can do things on their own, or figure out problems that a parent might otherwise do for them. I remember running through the woods or climbing trees or piles of dirt or playing outside in general with my brothers while mom was gardening or inside cleaning; such good memories!
Emily
PS, also: Totally joining the body hair movement over here 🙂 and also: Getting ready in the morning is just HARD. I used sneak away while kiddo was eating/playing in the high chair.
Eccentric Owl
Oh my goodness, right? I was thinking maybe I’d get up a little earlier to get ready, but I do NOT wake up fast, and by the time I feel like I can actually work on myself, Asa is ready to play. He wakes up at 7:30, usually, but 30 minutes is just not enough for me to wake up. Haha!
Kathy H
Confessions of a 64 year old Mom with 2 grown boys: #1 When pregnant with #2 I only survived making it from one Sesame St. show to the next. (It was on 3 times a day). #2 Not much of a baby person, for me teens rocked. And as a blessing in my life, both my 2 wonderful handsome boys still talk to me. 🙂 And you look so young and beautiful especially today.
Eccentric Owl
I definitely have those days! Asa LOVES Sesame Street, and some mornings when I feel sick (I still wake up occasionally with morning sickness) we just turn on cartoons and that’s what keeps him entertained while I sit on the couch and get over the feeling of having to throw up. Moms do what they need to! 😀
Kathy H
Thank you for your comment Kristina, I appreciate that you pay attention to someone old enough to be your mom and if your own mom doesn’t mind, I’ll just adopt you on-line as I have no daughters and one daughter in law far far away that doesn’t care so much about clothes.
Eccentric Owl
You are always so lovely, Kathy, and I always love reading your comments. I will totally be your online daughter! My mom doesn’t mind at all. 😉 It’s too bad your daughter in law lives too far away! Maybe you’ll have a second daughter in law closer someday who likes fashion more!
Pam
Slightly off topic, but it falls under the umbrella of mom guilt. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes a week ago. I know I shouldn’t blame myself because I had all the risk factors, such as ethnicity, age and family history, which are out of my control. We also caught it early. I have been eating much healthier, and I am hitting my target glucose levels most of the time, but I am still worried. I am a worrier by nature, and focusing on finding out which foods affect me the most. Milk is a bad one for me.
On a bright note, after being certain it was a boy, we found out it’s a girl!
Eccentric Owl
Oh, its not your fault at all! But I completely understand knowing you shouldn’t blame yourself but still worrying about it and feeling the mom guilt; I felt that when my milk supply dropped and Asa had to be bottle fed by 8 months. Not my fault, but still hard to take! Good for you in hitting all of your target glucose levels! You are going to do great. (Milk is really bad for me, too — milk, grains, and legumes. Those three all affect me in different ways, and none of them affect me positively.)
YAY! That’s so exciting! I know you wanted a girl, and I love that we get to be pregnant expecting girls together! Have you thought of names? (I guess we’re not revealing ours until she’s born, but… curiosity!)
Pam
We have a couple of names we both agree on: Bailey and Madeleine. I also like Jane, but I think it might be a bit plain? Also, my family is originally from India. As our daughter will be Indian, Scottish, Irish and a teeny bit French, I thought it would be nice to have something indicative of her maternal background, maybe Kiran. I am hoping my husband will let me choose following the experience of childbirth 🙂
As for Asa and nursing, never feel guilty. My mum had to stop nursing at 3 months with my brother, and he graduated at the top of his class and is very well adjusted! Taking care of ourselves is also taking care of our babies!
Eccentric Owl
Madeleine is such a pretty name! One of my friends’ daughters has that name, and I adore it. I love Jane, too, but that’s because Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books and I’m partial to the name because of the book. No matter what you choose, it’ll be perfect!
skye
I’m not a mom, but I feel strongly that it’s completely normal and healthy to let your kids discover the world on their own. You are a guiding light and a source of comfort, but ultimately this little toddling journey is his to make. I think kids today (ugh, I sound so elderly :P) are actually far too entertained by their parents. Developing the ability to be alone with your imagination is something that’s really vital for kids, and I think you’re definitely giving Asa that.
https://colormebrazen.wordpress.com/
Eccentric Owl
KIDS TODAY. I say that in all sincerity and then I realize I sound like a grandma and it makes me laugh. But seriously. Kids today. I think you make a really valid point, and I agree; kids ARE getting too entertained by their parents (and TV/video games/iphones/tablets/whatever — not that there is something inherently BAD with those things, but they are too relied on for entertainment). Thank you for pointing that out!
Rebecca
I often wonder about how other mothers/ fashion bloggers look so put together all the time. I imagine most of it is staged, which is fine, or some have help from nannies or others spruce up during naptime like you. Since you asked I’ll share how my mommy/work/blog schedule works out- I generally wear whatever outfits I post on the blog all day, occasionally there are exceptions, some weekends I will pre plan an outfit and photograph during naptime too. I am out the door by 8-9 every week day. Half the week I am in gym clothes & no makeup because I workout in the morning and change after. The other half the week I am dressed regularly. I work until the early/mid afternoon, then I work on my blog for about an hour before I have to get my daughter from daycare. After we get home from daycare I usually put on old clothes/ sweatpants for comfort if I already photographed my outfit. And we usually go outside or do an art project so we get dirty. So many outfit changes to reflect the many roles of being a woman! I try to fit an outfit photo somewhere in my day, but it doesn’t always workout. Currently I am struggling with trying to photograph my outfits while my daughter plays in the yard (because I have been really busy at work / while she is at daycarethe past few months)— which is leading to blurry & distracted photos snapped quickly before she steals the tripod or gets into something she shouldn’t. As you can see it is all a big juggling act that gets hectic sometimes. I remind myself to embrace the imperfection but sometimes that is hard. I am enjoying reading all the replies to this topic. Such an interesting subject. Rebecca// http://www.daisydisdain.com
Eccentric Owl
You sound like a supermom to me! I especially admire that you find time to work out — here I am thinking taking occasional walks makes me cool. 😉 Haha! I love how you noted the different outfit changes that reflect being a woman, it’s SO true!
I don’t know how I’m going to get outfit photos when Asa gets faster. I took him outside with me yesterday to get outfit pictures, but he’s very wobbly walking and he insisted on walking everywhere by himself, so it was easy to snap a photo and then go corral him if he was going off somewhere he shouldn’t go. But we have a huge yard, so it’s hard for him to get anywhere good before I can get to him!
Rebecca
I am definitely not supermom! I am psychology tied to working out because I loved doing it before I became a mom, and honestly it is about the only thing left I have of my “old” life, so that is why it is so important to me. I forgot to mention that I wrote that original comment on a tablet while my daughter was sitting on my lap watching TV.
Erin Hendrian
Thanks for sharing this, Kristina! I sometimes feel bad and wonder if I should be doing more to engage/teach my 6-month-old (probably after reading too many baby articles on Pinterest, haha), besides reading books and playing with her for a little bit between naps. Reading your post and the comments below reminded me how although my Mom was always nearby in the house as a safe, loving presence, and I enjoyed when she played with us occasionally, I mostly explored and played with my brother without her constant interaction. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement and real mom confessions! 😀
P.S. You look absolutely beautiful, and you always pull off the red lip so flawlessly! 🙂
Eccentric Owl
Oh man, I remember when Asa was 6 months old and feeling like I needed to entertain him more, too! But then my best friend reminded me that kids sometimes learn best by being let alone to figure things out themselves while moms are nearby. It definitely helps to remember my childhood when we were set free outside to play, and to be reminded that good moms come in all different forms so just because my parenting doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean its a bad way to do it!
Sarah Bluett
You look amazing! Are you the loveliest pregnant lady ever?!
I was in pjs until 1 this afternoon.. Now I am in track pants and a jumper : )
So you are kicking my butt 😛
xo
Eccentric Owl
If it makes you feel any better, I’m usually in yoga pants and a comfy tee until around 1pm, so… 😉