Let’s Pretend
Do you ever imagine what it might be like if you were a celebrity?
I do. Often, even though I can’t act worth beans and I don’t actually think I would like the life of fame, I imagine walking the red carpet and being interviewed; and mostly, it’s because of the clothes. I would love to be a woman who had access to sweeping gowns made by brilliant designers, to be fitted perfectly to my body; I would love to have someone professionally touch up my makeup — or learn how to do it myself, since I have a thing against other people touching my face — and fix my hair.
It would be an interesting and fun experience, to live that glamorously if only for a day. Of course, as with any profession, there are challenges and hardships. But, you know, it would still be fun!
Today I felt like a movie star. This dress makes me feel every bit as glamorous as if I’d had professional hair and makeup done and was styled by a famous designer.
I think, based on one of my favorite fashion-of-the-stars website, I would probably be one of the few celebrities who actually wore nonstop color and pattern. I might be one of those stars who occasionally steps into the world of kookiness with a crazy 1970’s caftan or 80’s dress, but at least I’d be having fun! I’ve always noticed that people in the public eye tend to dress in neutrals, reds, or dark colors, (as well as the crazy-revealing, or those garments that can’t really be classified as “clothing”) and you don’t see a lot of pattern. I don’t know if this is a modern trend, or if they go for simple because they’re told it’s more flattering… I don’t know. But I always appreciate people like Emily Blunt or Zooey Deschanel or Mindy Kaling who wear interesting and beautiful and colorful clothes; people who aren’t caught in the world of nude shoes and black dresses. 
Obviously there is a practical side to being clothed, but also… why not have fun with it?
I think I was asked once or saw the question once a long time ago whether Christianity/modesty and fashion blogging are at war with each other; whether it goes against a Christian’s call to be modest to photograph one’s self quite often in order to post those pictures on the internet and garner fans ans followers. (And when you put it that way, maybe it does sound vain.) But the thing is… I don’t do this for attention. It’s nice to get comments, yes, although I appreciate those more for the friendships I have made.
But at the core, fashion blogging is just… fun. I love wearing pretty things and I always have; I love creating something that is beautiful to the eye, whether it be a painting, a sketch, a photograph, an outfit, and sharing it with others in hopes they might share the joy. I love creating outfits that are physically modest but also truly fashionable to encourage other women who want to dress modestly that you can wear attractive outfits that are decent without having to look like a homeschooler (you know what I’m talking about. And I can say that; I was homeschooled.)
I believe that fashion blogging and modesty — of attitude, pocket, and appearance — are not necessarily mutually exclusive concepts. My brother-in-law pointed out once that when it speaks of women being called to be modest in the church in the Bible in one instance, its’ not even talking about modesty of clothing in the sense of being revealing; it’s talking about the fact that these women were dressing outlandishly and elaborately and going to church in order to get attention for themselves, instead of coming to church to worship God. 
So really, it depends on why I do this. If I were blogging only to shout to the world “look how beautiful I am, look at me, I’m so fashionable, I’m so thrifty, I’m so fantastic!” (which, sadly, one or two of my posts have been misread that way) then yes, I would not be blogging in a very modest way. But I do this as a hobby; it’s fun, I like creating art — and clothing can be a form of art –, I love to meet new people, I hope to encourage others, and blogging is my way to journal life. Since I was never very good at keeping a paper journal. 
Belt and vintage dress, thrifted | heels, Kohl’s | earrings, c/o Oasap | bracelet, Target
And also sometimes I think people in the religious world can get really legalistic with what you can and cannot do, which can go overboard. Obviously I believe there should be limits, as with anything in life; too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. (Hello, chocolate.) But I also believe that you should use your talents to encourage others, which is what I hope I am doing!
What are your thoughts on fashion blogging, vanity, and modesty (of the heart)?
P.S. If you are wondering whether this dress is possibly that bright in real life… the answer is yes. It is. I LOVE IT. Happy Sunday!
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14 Comments
Grace
Modesty is a touchy subject for a lot of people. It seems like everyone has their own opinion on what it actually profess to be a Christian and as such I follow what the bible says but a lot of people don’t so I’m not sure what they are basing their views on modesty so I’ll only focus on the Christianity aspect. In the bible it says that if a man looks on a woman to lust after her in is heart that she has caused the man to commit adultery and by that same stroke she has commited adultery as well. So I have based my views on modesty off of men’s opinions and their reaction to the human body. (I won’t even into Duet 22:5) I was raised to be modest but it wasn’t until I was older that I looked into it more closely. I looked up a lot stuff up on the internet about men’s views on modesty and revealing clothing. A hint of cleavage, a split in your skirt, a bit of skin showing on your belly, or very form fitting clothing were all the top offenders and after reading what they expressed about these issues and why it bothered them I understood modesty more, our bodies were designed to attract and stimulate men no differently than any other animal really but our bodies’ beauty is reserved for our husbands eyes. When I dress in a manner that gets a man to look at me in that way I am disrespecting my husband and ultimately myself and I don’t want men looking at me like that, that’s not respect! Studies show that when women wear pants that the man looks at the crotch or butt, no thanks! Many times I see women dressed in tights and leggings, and form fitting clothing. It leaves nothing to the imagination. If I took their photo and photoshopped what they were wearing to a nude color they’d look naked. So I ultimately decided I’d rather have a man’s respect than his lust. I’ve chosen even outside of the bible’s guidelines that I’m going to dress respectfully and it doesn’t have to look old fashioned or frumpy I think you have shown that modesty can be stylish and modern.
Margaret
Re tights and leggings..you are so spot on. My hubby has been commenting on this lately. He can’t believe that women (and the mothers will let their daughters out of the house) wearing these leggings with shirts not long enough to cover their buts. I tell him that they are doing it for attention.
Eccentric Owl
Thank you for your input, Grace! Modesty definitely is a touchy subject, and in this post I really wasn’t talking about physical modesty — aka, clothing and such — but modesty of the heart (vanity, pride, etc). But I do appreciate your comment and I definitely agree about the leggings and tights! I occasionally wear leggings as pants, but they’re very thick leggings and I ALWAYS wear a sweater that adequately covers my backside.
I would just like to say regarding Matthew 5:28 — what you referenced regarding adultery — that the verse does NOT say the *woman* caused the man to commit adultery. It says the man had lust in his heart; there is no reference to how she was dressed or how she looked or whether she also committed adultery, and honestly, a man can look at a woman lustfully even if she’s dressed as modestly as they come. As you pointed out, our bodies are made to attract men, and if a man is going to lust after a woman sometimes he’ll think about her body whether she’s dressed in a revealing top or a turtleneck, because it’s in his heart to do so. Before and in the following verses, that entire section is NOT about what people are wearing. That verse is speaking of a matter of the man’s heart and thoughts; these people were using the ten commandments to say “Well, Jesus, we haven’t actually committed murder and adultery so we’re fine” and Jesus responds that sure, they haven’t physically killed anyone, they haven’t actually slept with another man’s wife, but they HAVE been thinking about it and their own thoughts are just as bad as the act itself. If you read further on, it is all speaking about one’s self — if your right eye causes you to stumble, take it out.
Obviously, we as women can and should do things to prevent ourselves from being looked at lustfully. But ultimately it is not our job to keep a man from looking at us with lust; it is HIS job to keep himself from sin. I have friends who are completely modest women who have been looked at sexually and even sexually attacked when they did nothing wrong, but because they were brought up believing that it was their responsibility to keep a man from wanting their bodies, they believed it was their fault when they were attacked with unwanted sexual advances.
You may believe differently and I respect that, but I think while women should take care what they reveal in order to respect themselves and respect where a guy’s thoughts can go, I also think that too often girls are taught it’s all their fault when a boy looks at them lustfully; they carry the burden of keeping another person from sinning for life; because of that, they become women who dress modestly not out of a love for God and a desire to honor Him in every way, but because they are ashamed, afraid, pressured, suppressed, and hurt. And they become the women who think it’s their fault when they are raped.
And perhaps I also strongly believe all of this because I have received email advances from men who fantasize about things you wouldn’t think were sexual — pairs of muddy shoes, styles of shirts that are completely modest, tights worn with modest skirts. As a modestly dressing woman, is it then my fault that men still look at me, showing no skin, wearing flat shoes, tights covering my legs, a shirt buttoned up to the neck, and still fantasize about me? No. That is entirely in their hearts and on their heads and that is THEIR sin, not mine.
Anyway! I am sorry I went on such a long tangent there, but I feel very passionately about the way modesty is taught — men need to be taught respect just as much as women need to be taught modesty, if not more because if a boy is not taught that he should not lust after a woman no matter what she wears, how will he then keep a pure mind and respectful heart in a world where skin-tight, low-cut, and short is the norm?
Mónica Sors
You look great in red!
xx
Mónica
MES VOYAGES À PARIS
NEW VIDEO OF MY WEDDING PUBLISHED TODAY!!!
Eccentric Owl
Thank you, Monica!
Margaret
I love your fun style Kristina. And I never thought about it before, but you’s is a modest, yet very creative and beautiful. I remember listening to Joyce Meyers a long time ago mentioning how a lot of Christians criticize her because of her big car and big jewelry, etc. But her personality is just BIG in every sense. People will always criticize…no matter what. Be true to yourself!
Eccentric Owl
Thank you, Margaret!
And sadly, that’s true; people criticize no matter what a person says or does. But thankfully, I seem to only meet people who, even if they disagree, are really amazing about it and we discuss our differences in a courteous and even fun manner.
skye
I absolutely agree – it’s all about intent. I tend to be very relativistic in that I believe nothing is inherently anything. Every action is flavored by its mindset. Put another way, it’s the difference between playfully smacking your partner’s butt and actually raising a hand to hurt them.
I also take that a step further: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dressing any particular way as long as you’re clear about your motives. If you’re going out scantily clad, or even taking naked photos, because you’re insecure and trying to fill a void, that’s one thing. But I believe you can also do those things from a place of personal empowerment, and that’s why I don’t judge: I never know what’s going on in someone’s head, so I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Also, I’m really loving your ombre hair. It’s super cool how it seems to be fading in a gradient.
https://colormebrazen.wordpress.com/
Eccentric Owl
Totally agree about the action and mindset! Which, I know you aren’t religious, but that is exactly what a verse that many Christians quote as the “dress modestly” verse was talking about — it wasn’t about the fact of them dressing attractively in itself that got them in trouble, it was the fact that they were doing it specifically to draw all the attention to themselves.
And, although I would only ever dress scantily or be naked in photos for my husband, I agree on that point, too. I really… I feel like it’s hard to say this because I’d probably get bitten from both sides, but while I do see things from the point of view of my faith, and that there is sin/right and wrong… I also don’t believe it’s my place to judge anyone for their life choices. What they do is their business. Sure, if it were a friend and I knew where her heart was going I might say something out of love or if I saw it was destructive to her and people around her. But strangers? Not my business to judge their lives or tell them how to live. I can try to live as an example and answer direct questions or discussions honestly, but that’s as intrusive as I’ll get.
Besides which, I’ve done crap that someone else could judge me for, so what right do I have to even think about judging someone else for something?
But yes! I love reading your point of view because I know how differently we live and believe, and it’s fascinating. Plus, you’re one of the nicest people I could ever disagree with whenever I do, because THANK YOU for being level-headed. 😉
Haha! Oh, I was just thinking my hair was looking like it desperately needs to be fixed. Now that I’ve got roots growing in thicker, I’m having a hard time making it look purposeful. 😀
skye
“I love reading your point of view because I know how differently we live and believe, and it’s fascinating. Plus, you’re one of the nicest people I could ever disagree with whenever I do, because THANK YOU for being level-headed.”
This is how I feel about you, too! Life’s no fun if we live in an echo chamber. 🙂 And I am so, so glad I’m a nice person to disagree with! That’s really something I strive for. I believe very strongly in open discourse and civil debate, so I’m glad I’m embodying that principle.
Katie
I think the same way on the modesty issue. How much skin is showing is never mentioned in the Bible, just the attitude with which you present yourself. It makes so much sense though, arrogance is ‘me’ focused, when the focus should be on God!
I absolutely adore this dress on you too. It looks smashing with your hair color, and you certainly DO look like a movie star. I would love to be an actress I think 🙂 I just don’t want to move out of the midwest! So…there goes that 🙂
Angela
That is such a stunning red dress! It looks great on you 🙂
x Angela // the-style-doll.blogspot.com
Danie Williams-Rivera
I think another thing to take into consideration is the fact that you are sharing your life and your experiences. You openly talk about your faith, which is a great opportunity for witnessing. And, we (human beings) are amazing creatures – hand crafted, why should we not celebrate the beauty of God’s creation? It’s fun to dress it up pretty and share it with the world. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s coming from a place of vanity. It can create confidence and joy in other people as well, and can be a form of spreading the love. Even if it weren’t a hobby, and you were the most famous fashion blogger in the world, as long as your heart is in the right place… I think it’s all good. God gave you a passion for a reason! 🙂
XOXO,
Danie
http://www.letter2self.com
Hayley Havener
Kristina, I have followed your blog for a couple of years now, and I don’t think I have ever told you how much I appreciate it!
As a fellow homeschooler, Christ follower, and fashionista, I love being able to come over here and smile :).
Maybe we’ll cross paths someday in the great PNW.
<3 Hayley
(fortune00cookie.wordpress.com)