Owl dress and Doctor Who Pin
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Words have always been very important to me. The way they are used, the context, the meaning; I care which words you say, and when. I care whether we name our children names that mean something important or not. I get hung up on wording, even if the intent behind them was innocent. (Ask my husband — as a person who generalizes during discussions, he knows this well.) Perhaps this has evolved from my love of writing, from the days when I read the dictionary and devoured new words with a voracious appetite; perhaps this comes from being a person who loves to over-communicate (or perhaps that comes from my love of words), or perhaps it’s just a quirk I’ve always had.
Whatever the case, words are important. And there is a word that has been floating around for a long, long time; a word I read over and over again on various blogs, in various conversations, in regards to many different things, and it’s beginning to bother me.
You see this word flung at puppies and kittens and chubby-cheeked babies; you hear this cooed over new shoes and dresses with bows and frilly things; you say this word to small children or grown women or hot guys… and if you haven’t deduced by now, the word I’m talking about is “cute.” I have seen this word used in so many different situations, for so many things, and it may be an overreaction but yesterday I saw someone use the word and it just… bothered me.
See, yesterday, the word was used about me, in conjunction with “adorable,” in regards to that red dress I was wearing and how I needed to get dressed in order to feel beautiful again. It struck me, when a few people said I looked “cute” or my dress was “cute”, that I really dislike this word in reference to myself.
Babies are cute. Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. Little girls in frilly dresses with bows in their hair are cute. Baby-faced teenage boys are, to equally baby-faced teenaged girls, cute. And sure, a dress like the one I’m wearing today, I could categorize as “cute” although I would choose “quirky” or “fun” instead out of a desire to avoid that word. Grown women in high heels and red lipstick? Cute, really?
And I am not using this as an attack on whomever has used “cute” on me in the past. Having heard from a friend who admits she defaults to “cute” even if said item is more pretty, beautiful, delicate, whatever, I get it. Sometimes, you just have that word you use for all the things. You say it in passing because you don’t want to think of a more appropriate description. Because it’s easy, it’s adequate, perhaps it’s partially true, or perhaps in your eyes, that woman in the red dress and red lips with the vampy heels is just that — cute. No more, no less.
When I hear “cute”, I think “childish.” I associate “cute” with the twee, the bows and frills and knee-high socks and the outfits that you could just as well see on a five-year-old girl as you could on a teen or on the 25 year old woman who is wearing it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with dressing to be cute, let me be clear. If you’re a mature woman and you want to wear the bows and the frills, do it. Wear what makes you feel good.
But can we get a little more creative with the words we use to describe people? When I comment on another woman’s appearance, I intentionally avoid the word “cute” unless she’s wearing a sweater with cats printed all over it. Adorable is as close as I’ll get. I try to tell her she looks pretty, or beautiful, or stunning, or glamorous, or fun, or striking; that I would wear what she’s wearing, that I love the print, that she looks fantastic.
Dress c/o Oasap | Target tights | Modcloth headband | JC Penney boots | gift Doctor Who Pin
Maybe I’ve thought too much about this word, or maybe it’s true. But when I go all out to dress up and feel glamorous and beautiful, and someone comes along and tells me it’s cute, my first reaction is, honestly, to be a little let down. The word makes me feel as though that person thinks I’m a little girl dressing up, or not quite worthy of a higher praise. Not that I need a higher praise. But it would be nice to know that my efforts looked better to someone than just… cute.
Cute is a middling word for something beautiful. I’m not trying to hail myself in yesterday’s outfit post as some gorgeous goddess, nor was that the only instance where I was called “cute” and felt as though that was an inappropriate time to use the word. There are outfits I have worn that I would describe as “cute” because they are — a little girly, a little twee, a little whimsical, cute. But my prerogative when getting dressed is not to be cute. I am a grown, pregnant woman with a child and a husband, who dresses up to feel pretty and, yes, to look hot for her man.
My point here is… let’s quit using that one default word all the time. Start noticing people; start really thinking about what you like about them. If you mean cute as a genuine, highest-compliment-I-can-give, best-thing-ever word, then sure. Call me cute, and I’ll be pleased. But if you’re using it because it’s just that word you always use, think it over. That woman in the uniform with the fantastic nails, was she really trying to just be cute with those nails? Or did she do it to feel beautiful? That woman in the floral dress with the heels and big hat, is it really appropriate to say she looks adorable? Or is pretty (or gorgeous) a better descriptor? What would really make someone feel better about themselves — to be associated with kittens and puppies, or a glamorous movie star?
(EDIT: please note, when I wrote this I knew that nothing I was writing was actually expressing what I meant. I wrote this post HORRIBLY — what I meant to get across was that while I have no issue with the word “cute” in and of itself, it bothers me how much it is overused to describe every single thing, including things that are in no way cute. Mainly, my point was that language is so diverse, and I wish people would utilize the vast amount of descriptive words available and give certain defaults (“love” is another one) a rest.)
Words. I think they’re important.
What word do you default to all the time? What word bothers you the most as a descriptor? And does being called “cute” bother you as much as it bothers me?
Let me know in the comments, and most of all… have a wonderful Friday!
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21 Comments
skye
I’m more or less indifferent to the word itself, but I get what you’re saying about sloppy descriptions. It does kind of rankle me to see the same compliments rehashed over and over. Honestly, when someone comments with a perfunctory sentence (or even just one
word) and then leaves a link to their own blog, I usually suspect they’re
just trolling for pageviews.
I also prefer compliments that focus on specific attributes rather than the person as a whole. Hearing I look gorgeous is nice, don’t get me wrong – but it doesn’t *tell* me anything. I’d rather hear “great makeup job” or “I love the cut of that dress”.
(That said, I do feel like I’m more easily described as “cute” than “elegant” or “gorgeous” or any of those permutations. I have a young face and I love bright colors. [That bothers me a little, because I think my boyfriend is super hot and I feel like we’re mismatched in that area. But such is life.])
https://colormebrazen.wordpress.com/
Eccentric Owl
Yeah, I think more than the word itself (unless used when I or someone else has dressed extremely glamorously/sexily/whatever), it bothers me that it is used so much for every. single. thing. Especially in the blogosphere, I’ve noticed that bloggers often comment “cute outfit!” or “you look cute!” for any type of outfit, even when it’s something that SHOULD be acknowledged as being more than just cute. It’s such a fallback word, and it bugs me.
Detailed compliments are the best, though. I try to comment on both the content of the blog AND the outfit, because personally, if I write a post that I put a lot of thought into, and people just comment “great outfit!”, it bothers me. And sometimes vice versa, but not as much.
See, I would describe you as striking and fun. Striking because of your hair, and your unforgettable features, and the wonderful gap between your teeth, and fun because you dress in the best clothes on the planet. I think you and your boyfriend are really well matched as far as looks go! Both of you are pretty attractive people. 😉 But I get that, too; ha! The days when Nehemiah decides to dress up and I’ve decided to dress down, I’m like… now I just look like a slob with a really hot guy. Sigh.
Elizabeth Murdock
Your hair and glasses are perfection! xx
fashionismyfirstlanguage.blogspot.ie
Eccentric Owl
Thank you, Elizabeth!
Pam
Love the baby bump. Very sweet! I default to using lovely. Perhaps because I am a 70 year old soul in a much younger body!
Eccentric Owl
I think lovely is such an underused word!
Vicki Shuler
That dress, the Doctor Who pin, your hair (!!)…this is quite a beauteous outfit. Great post, too…lots of food for thought. I don’t have a problem with the word “cute” in particular (though really, if I think about it…I use cute to describe just about everything), especially since my guy’s nickname for me is “cutie,” “cutes,” or “the cutes,” haha. But I agree…there are a lot of words that are overused and it would be nice for us to take the time to put more thought into what we say and how we say it. One of those for sure is, “love.” That’s a word that I will often find myself overusing, but I feel like it’s such a powerful word that should only be used towards things that you really, truly love, otherwise it just deflates…if that makes sense. 🙂
-Vicki
Eccentric Owl
Oh, I overuse “love” for sure! It’s something I’ve been noticing. And I think more than the word itself, I think what bothers me is that “cute” is just overused, or used for things that aren’t necessarily cute. I’m such a word person, and I think that’s why!
Salazar
I’m guilty of defaulting to “awesome” way too often, but that’s even more of a misuse than “cute”. A thing is not “awesome” unless there are shafts of lights from heaven shining down and a choir of angels singing behind it. I’m a writer, damn it, I should expand my speaking vocabulary!
That being said, your dress and the TARDIS pin are awesome 🙂
Eccentric Owl
Haha, right? I think I most overuse “love” and phrases like “haha, right?” 😉 Sometimes, I look back at my comments and think “where was my brain when I wrote this???”
High praise indeed, then!
Nan
Some people think cute is a good thing. They associate it with the things you probably associate with gorgeous or mature. It’s not a bad thing. I think you’re being a little harsh on people for using words in ways that are meaningful to them. It’s not like they attacked you or were being negative–so really, why is it a big deal?
One of the things that’s always struck me about this blog is your association with maturity and being married. Before you met your husband, you didn’t make many generalized statements about being a woman. You worked as a barista and wrote about your life. Then you met your husband and got married, and suddenly you didn’t want to work anymore. It was too much. Women who can work and maintain a house and family were suddenly insane multitaskers. You reached a checkpoint in your life and everything changed. Marriage is life-changing, yes, but it seemed like you waited your whole life for a man to come and take care of you. Like you had no ambition before you met him. You were just…waiting.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but it often comes across as “I needed a man to make me a woman. I have a man who can be the sole financial provider for this household. This makes me a woman. I am a woman. As a woman, this. As a woman, that.” The implied message for the other side of that coin is then: “Without a man, I am a girl. I am not a grown woman yet. I will become one, one day. But for now, I’ll not be my own woman. I won’t define myself, yet, because I need a man to do that for me.”
You are of course entitled to your opinions and lifestyle, but it comes across as preachy. Maybe this message will come across to you as preachy, but reading this blog offers insight into a world I don’t understand but enjoy reading about nonetheless. Maybe you will be able to view reading this perspective in the same manner.
It’s probably obvious at this point that you and I have very different takes on life. I want to be clear about this though: that’s WHY I read your blogs. I wasn’t raised super Christian, super-conservative. I was raised to think that I’d get an education, make a career out of it, settle down and have a family (I have done very little on my life checklist so far). Based on your blog, you were raised to forego the education and career, but to make a career out of being a wife and mother instead. That’s wonderful, and more fulfilling than any amount of degrees will ever be–I honestly respect you for that. I am too scared to pursue that sort of life, because it seems too risky and I’m not brave enough to leave my future up to a chance meeting with a husband who may or may not be able to provide for me. So I think you are one of the bravest people–especially since it’s not a very modern outlook to take in a very modern world and society.
I genuinely ENJOY reading about your lifestyle because of the stark contrast to mine, but in this case I really think you’re being oversensitive.
This isn’t meant to be an attack. Just an observation from what is most likely a very bizarre perspective to you.
Nan
I also want to say that I read your blog because it’s inspiring that you make life meaningful with very little. You are positive and you are very good at making the best out of a situation–I want to be that way and I look up to you for that.
Eccentric Owl
I’m so glad I come across that way! I used to think (and sometimes still do think) that my life was very boring, and I’ve been trying to train myself to see life in a new way, always a positive way, and make it as wonderful as I can! It means the world to me for you to say that; thank you so, so much!
Eccentric Owl
Haha, I will fully admit that I wrote this post HORRIBLY and I knew it at the time– what I meant to get across was that I have no issue with the word “cute” in and of itself, but rather how much it is overused to describe every single thing, including things that are in no way cute. Really, the word itself is inoffensive and I know people who like being called cute — in appropriate situations, I don’t mind it either, and it’s just fine. It only really irks me when I see it used over and over and over again for things that are vastly different, and I get that way about other words too (like curse words, ugh. Sometimes I totally understand cursing usage, but in daily conversation every other word? That irritates me.) Mainly, my point was that language is so diverse, and I wish people would utilize the vast amount of descriptive words available and give certain defaults (“love” is another one) a rest.
And when I was writing this post, I was tired and feeling bland, and I KNEW I wasn’t writing what I meant, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to say what I was thinking. It was one of those annoying days where nothing I wrote matched up with the thoughts in my head.
I also tend to be one of those writers who, with thoughts-based posts, needs someone with a different point of view than mine to bounce my posts off of, so that I can see what someone else thinks and have my thought process provoked and clarified to know I really am saying (or really didn’t say) what I meant to say.
Thankfully, most people got where I was going, even though I wrote it terribly. 🙂 I am sorry it came off as oversensitive — I meant to edit the post once I had a few comments that said what I was really thinking (Skye hit it on the nose, I think!) but I didn’t have time.
It’s really fascinating to me what you have gleaned from my life based on my writing. I don’t think I’ve ever actually said that marriage defines me, that I needed a man to be a real woman, or that I think women should be stay at home mothers and men should be the worker bees. Ever. However, I do get where you’re coming from — I write a lot about my conservative upbringing and how personally, I don’t have the personality to be a career woman.
It probably comes off that I associate marriage with becoming a woman because before I started dating/got married, I was pretty immature. I had very romanticized ideas of how life should be, I always thought about what I wanted and what I needed in a selfish way, I was pretty easily set off to be mad or to cry, and generally… in my opinion, I acted like a girl. I hadn’t really grown up yet, because… I didn’t have a reason to. I lived with my parents, I didn’t pay rent, and I respected my parents enough to live by their rules in their house, so I didn’t get a chance to really be on my own in the world and “grow up” as most people do. I don’t think this is a bad thing in any way — I’m so thankful for my parents and how they raised me even when I disagree with some of those things, and growing up with them taught me a lot about marriage in retrospect, though I didn’t see it at the time.
But then I got married, and the relationship itself did change me — I HAD to think about someone else. I had the responsibility of a house (as does my husband), another person to consider, a new life that wasn’t just about me and what I wanted to do, and a guy whose mode of communication taught me to chill out, and not be so easily emotional. l think I also associated marriage with being mature, as a lot of people do — you get married in any circle of single friends, regardless of your upbringing or beliefs, and suddenly you and your spouse are the “adult” ones who have to go home and sleep because there’s a job in the morning, the ones who can’t always run off and do whatever because they have to consider their spouse in all of their plans (which you don’t always have to in a dating relationship), you get a house and you sort of grow up. So when I write about married life, it may come off that I think of myself as a woman now because in reality, that’s just how it worked out for me. I’ve never thought I needed a man to make me a woman, and in fact if I haven’t written about that on the blog (which I think I have, though it may have been lost when I switched to self-hosting), I have definitely written personal messages to young girls encouraging them NOT to think that having a relationship defines them. I’ve told girls time and time again that having a boyfriend or a husband is not the epitome of their life; I’ve encouraged unmarried friends that just because they aren’t married doesn’t mean their life is nothing. And if I haven’t written a post like that, then I for sure need to!
While I definitely love marriage and do think my husband has changed me for the better, as I have also changed him, I have never thought that I needed a man to define me.
However, because my life right now is basically motherhood and wife…hood…? That’s pretty much all I CAN write about. I write what I know, and I talk about my life as it is. In many ways, my husband and my child very much define who I am — who I have always WANTED to be. From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and a mama. Briefly, also a ballerina, and still, also a published author. While my parents did raise me pretty conservatively and encouraged me towards that, they never discouraged me from getting an education and a job — I was very encouraged to go to college if I wanted to (I didn’t want to, because I was SO done with school after highschool, and I didn’t want to waste money on college when I didn’t even know what I wanted to do there), and I was pretty much told I had to get a job to pay for my phone and car, and, eventually, myself if I ended up moving out. Obviously the way I was raised was to be a wife and a mother, but that wasn’t a “you will get married one day” thing — it was an “IF you get married one day, and you might not.” I think my desire to be a wife and mother was much stronger than something stemming from the way I was raised. I’ve always loved being at home (well, I hate cleaning, but who doesn’t?) and I’ve always loved kids, like… LOVE loved. And as a romantic-minded girl, obviously marriage was my #1 goal in life. My mom tried to ground me in reality more than once by reminding me that romance and marriage was not the only thing in life, but it didn’t always get to me.
As far as the whole “having a sole financial provider for the household” thing, I very openly stated in my blog post on quitting my job that I very much admire women who both work AND have kids. It takes a lot of strength and love for what you do to balance work with home, even if your husband is taking on part of the load. I’m just not one of those people. I don’t love career-type work, and I never have; the only job of the many I’ve had that I loved as much as I love being a mom and a wife was being a barista, but even then… I prefer home life. I’m very much a homebody though I was encouraged to get out there and try work. I have never said that I think all women should be housewives; I am pretty sure I stated that I think women should do whatever the heck they want, and not apologize for it. I’ve never said that I think men should be sole providers, and in fact, while I’ve never talked about it on the blog (because I tend to shy away from posts I think might be controversial, as I just don’t enjoy writing that stuff), I think stay-at-home dads don’t get enough recognition.
And, perhaps I didn’t state it well enough previously, but I had a pretty big internal war as far as work and home life went — I WANTED to keep working, insofar as I felt like that was how I could help contribute. I wanted to feel like I was doing something to assist with providing for our family other than just staying home and JUST being the mom, as much of the secular world sees it. I still wish that I could work and be a housewife/mother, because sometimes I feel as though the things I do at home aren’t quite as adequate as working was.
However, emotionally I couldn’t take it. There was a lot of pressure put on me by myself (and myself alone) to be perfect at my job as well as being perfect at being a housewife, a mom, a wife, and a woman separate from all of these things. There were required hours of work that meant that for part of the day I either had to neglect my child or my marriage, demands put on me from my boss (rightful and respectful demands) that I felt like I was failing miserably, and a lot of internal battles about whether or not I was actually doing something that I loved doing, and why I was hanging onto that job if we didn’t financially need it and it was creating so much stress in my life. And, for my specific personality and emotional capabilities, it’s just… not a life I can do. I wish I could, and sometimes I really want to, but I can’t. I had more overwhelmed moments of complete emotional breakdowns while I was working than was worth it, and more moments where I had begun to get irritated with Asa simply because he wouldn’t go to sleep when I wanted him to, and that really bothered me. I was on the brink of being angry with my child for something that was absolutely not his fault, which made me cry more than the stress of the job itself. And while I WAS working, even though it was from home, I felt guilty for neglecting Asa as he played or needed my attention. I felt as though I was missing his childhood and his growing up, as though I was giving up something incredibly important — my child growing up and learning and changing — for something I didn’t even love that much, and wasn’t sure I actually needed to do.
So, after talking to my husband about our finances and the fact that we’d have to tighten our budget quite a bit, I quit. I still feel like I gave up, though I know that’s not true, but I know that in our day-to-day life, with both of our personalities being what they are, it works incredibly better for us to be that traditional 50’s ideal of a housewife and a working man. Because I think it works so well for us, I probably come off as thinking it would work well for everyone and that everyone should be this way, but I don’t believe that. People are so vastly different, and every relationship defines itself in a different way.
One last note, I may have said this, I think in a way my husband does define who I am, because he made me a wife, and he made me a mother (but, very importantly, in the exact same way, I define him as well because I made him a husband, and I made him a mother, and he has openly said that I have changed him in so many ways), and because that is my day-to-day life, sometimes I feel as though I don’t really have anything else TO define me. I used to define myself as a writer, because I wrote all the time and it was my life prior to marriage, but then I went through a dry spell and I’ve been struggling a lot with that lately. I have never TRULY felt like “writer” could be my real identity because I never officially published a book — once I do, that’ll be another great identity of mine — and this blog isn’t really the type of writing I feel qualifies. However, I’ve been trying lately to cultivate myself outside of marriage and motherhood, because I’ve realized that my husband has hobbies outside of myself and Asa — he is a woodworker, and he is an aspiring filmmaker, and these things also define him. When I got married, I threw myself with eagerness into the new and exciting phase of the thing I had been hoping for for SO many years (marriage,) and then a short five months later, pregnancy, and then four months later, motherhood. So many huge milestones happened in such a short period of time that I feel like I gave up a lot of other aspects about myself to deal with all of these new identities. This is the first time in the last few years I’ve felt like I’ve finally adjusted enough to marriage and motherhood to be able to pursue writing again in a more avid way, and I hope that soon I can redefine myself not only as a wife and a mother, but also an author.
Anyway! I hope that gives you a little more insight into my life and the mind behind what I have written about myself and my life here on the blog; I appreciated your comment so much because you brought to light so many things that I take for granted, and it was so thought-provoking and wonderful to be able to expand on all of these things in greater detail to someone who I know is interested.
And, I’m sorry this comment is basically a novel. 😉
Nan
Thanks for the well thought out response! I understand where you’re coming from, and I appreciate the honesty. It’s funny because I can really relate to what you worded so well:
“So many huge milestones happened in such a short period of time that I
feel like I gave up a lot of other aspects about myself to deal with all
of these new identities.”
My milestones were certainly different than yours (but that’s life, right?), but we arrived at the same conclusion. I would love to see you explore that part of your life on the blog if you ever feel interested in talking about it. With your optimism, I think it could really expose an interesting perspective or take on sacrificing (and more importantly, building) parts of yourself for other achievements/goals. I love this kind of “food for thought” stuff!
And I know you don’t think women should be forced into any role, (’50s housewife or modern career animal)–if I thought that, then I would’ve stopped reading a long time ago 🙂
PS: Your life may seem boring to you, but here’s another perspective you might appreciate: you’re not boring! You’re mother and wife who assumed the job as a housewife (and so much more). Housewife has a negative connotation to a lot of people, which is silly–it’s work. It’s emotionally-invested work that makes it worthwhile and important. That is incredibly meaningful–you don’t drop your work at the door. You never leave your post. Housewives (and husbands) are dedicated all the time and never off-duty.
Those are quite some hours when you think about it! And on top of that, you assumed this role in a society where it’s kind of frowned upon for women to do that. Somewhere along the fight for women’s rights I think we lost the plot in fighting for the right to work–and forgot that it should have also included the right to not work. I guess we should’ve said the right to choose. So, I think you’re really brave to pursue that lifestyle in the face of all the people who would wrongfully call you a housewife as a negative thing or even an insult. That’s crap. What you do is meaningful, and I think people who look down on you for that have other things to worry about. So, congrats on finding the career that fits you and makes you happy! Because I think that’s what you’ve done. It’s just not how people traditionally define “career”.
Ok, enough tumblr-esque feminism rants. Here’s to the right to do what you want, however you want to! 🙂
Marlen
Okay, I dipped out of the blogosphere for a couple of months so first thing is first: congrats on the next baby!! So happy for you and your growing brood 🙂
Now onto the topic at hand. I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’ve had a moment or two where I’d feel a stab of slight irritation at seeing that word used on a look that doesn’t really call for it. But I think a lot of the commentors that use it are the ones that are leaving comments quickly. Obviously commenting on blogs is one of the main ways to get readers over to your own site, and I can’t tell you *how* many comments I get that are like “cute pants!” when I’m wearing a dress. Sigh, it comes with the territory. Cute is just such a catch-all kind of word, so it gets picked up when we’re not really thinking but want to express that we like something.
Or, just like your friend, they use it because it’s their favorite way to express they like it. Either way, I get where you’re coming from. I think it’s more of an irritation that you put a lot of effort into your post and into your look, and you’re getting something half-hearted in return. I get those feels, girl, I get them.
xo marlen
Messages on a Napkin
Eccentric Owl
Thank you! Now that I’m done (I think) with morning sickness, I feel more excited about baby #2. Haha! I was excited before, but then being constantly sick dimmed that for a while.
Yep, that’s pretty much what I was going for (the more I re-read my post, the more irritated I get that I totally did not word things the way I wanted to. Ugh, totally wrote this on a day of blank-and-uncooperative-brain. Sigh.)
That’s why I’ve taken to sometimes forcing myself to comment on both the written content AND what someone is wearing — details of that, if I can — because while I do like traffic coming from other sites, I don’t want that to ever be my main goal in commenting. I comment because I’m interested in people, not because I want traffic! So even if I’m truly interested in what they said and are wearing but I don’t have words that day (you know, it happens), I make myself comment something somewhat substantial, just to avoid generic commenting.
Jacqueline
I wanted to say ‘cute dress’ just to be a smart arse! Ha, but, I really agree with you. The word is overused and that post of you (yesterday?) in that beautiful red dress and navy cloak/hood was anything but cute. It was whimsical, it had an air of fairytales and the lipstick looked amazing! This owl dress is very quirky too – i didn’t even realize they were owls until I read the title, I thought it was just a geometric pattern. Ha! Loving the headscarf too. x
Eccentric Owl
Hah! I knew there was another reason I liked you. 😉 I would have laughed (or rather, I did laugh!)
Mariah Alysz
I feel the exact same way, sister! I’ve spent way too much time ranting about how diminutive the word “cute” can be, and how using it to describe a full grown woman just seems wrongs. Michael has heard many a rant, let me tell you. I don’t care if it’s directed at something on me, like my shoes, but when it is directed at me as a person it is quite upsetting. For me, I’ve always gotten words like “cute” or “adorable” because of my size and that’s always really bugged me, like since I’m not the average height of a woman I can’t qualify for beautiful or whatever else isn’t the word “cute.” In short, I totally feel you.
Emily
I definitely hear you! I feel like “cute” is kind of an infantilizing word, so it can sound belittling or even mocking under the wrong circumstances. I am totally guilty of overusing this word (and sooo many others) but I appreciate you calling it out and noting that it probably doesn’t always send the message we want to send.