On blogging and confidence - With Love, Kristina

A couple of years ago, I was a girl with no idea how to dress herself. I wore jeans every day that I hated on myself, shirts in long proportions that never seemed to flatter or be the right length, and sweatshirts because really, that’s just what all my friends wore and I wasn’t brave enough to break the style mold of that clique.

The only time I really felt pretty was on Sundays or for special occasions when I could dress up and nobody would ask me why I looked so fancy.

But then one week in December, I started following a few fashion blogs (Selective Potential, What I Wore), and I decided to challenge myself to wear skirts for an entire week, and see if I could survive the snowy weather. After that week, I thought maybe I’d start tacking outfit pictures onto the ends of my blog posts– because at that point, my blog was a writing-only blog– and see if anyone thought it was a good idea.

I still wore jeans intermittently if I thought I’d be in a social situation where everyone else was wearing pants, too, but when I wasn’t going to be seeing anyone that day, I wore skirts.

Then in the summer, I went to visit one of my friends out of state for a month, and since nobody knew me there I could wear whatever I wanted. I wore dresses the entire time, and it felt wonderful! I started discovering more fashion blogs as well, and realized that bloggers come in ALL shapes and sizes.

Even with the newfound confidence of wearing dresses all the time, I still felt incredibly self-conscious about my body. To me, all of the fashionable girls were skinny, and I was not. Nor will I ever be.

There was definitely a day when I would have NEVER posted a side shot or backside shot of myself. Ever. But then slowly, as I read more fashion blogs and gained blog friends who were blind to size, I started to realize: fashion isn’t about size. It’s about… well, fashion.

And obviously there will always be the most-popular blogs with ultra-beautiful women who are that “perfect” ideal or close to it, but there are also so many beautiful blogs and bloggers out there who are wonderfully normal and inspiring.

I’m not going to deny that weight loss has also helped boost my confidence, because I’d be a liar to say I’m not trying to lose weight or I’ll be happy with this size always. But I’m confident in my size even if I’m still not the conventional “fashion” size, and I don’t know that I ever will be, even when I do reach my personal weight goals. And that’s okay. Fashion blogging has definitely helped boost my confidence where curves are concerned. You readers are all just amazing, and all of those fashion bloggers out there have gone to show me that any size is beautiful.

Of course, inner confidence in who I am in God and who I am as a person has always been there, but physical confidence has definitely been boosted by blogging.

And being married to a super hot man who loves the way I am doesn’t hurt, either. 😉

Has blogging boosted your confidence? How? Are there shots you take of yourself that you post now that would never have seen the light of blogging in the past?

In other news, the weather has finally started to get better, and I’ve finally found the inspiration and determination to blog more! Despite the fact that my favorite camera lens goes wonky, I have no computer, and we have no internet at our house. I’m getting better at taking my own outfit photos, and quicker at borrowing my mom’s or my mom-in-law’s computer and internet to do blog posts.

Also, scheduling posts ahead of time is a life saver! I don’t know why I didn’t learn that earlier.

Kohl’s: Shirt
Hawaii Flea Market: Hat
Thrifted: Skirt, belt
Target: Heels

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday! Go forth and blog with confidence. 😉

9 Comments

Syren

15 April, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Definitely, before blogging I would never take selfies. Or wear what I wanted. Ever. And I was very trapped and thanks to blogging I realized that I don’t care what others think of me. I speak. They think I’m annoying? I speak more. They can leave when they want, I ain’t going anywhere.
(Also I learned to not care about what “flatters my looks” or makes me “blend in” because I’m not a fashionista, instead I wear colours and patterns I want and I mix and match the way I like it.)
(I still sort of wish I was confident enough to start a fashion blog. Maybe one day though…)

Eccentric Owl

16 April, 2013 at 12:19 pm

And I think the bright side to saying what you want to and speaking your mind is that you find people who do like you and do enjoy reading your opinion! I think I was always afraid that there would be naysayers or “mean” commenters when I started posting outfit pictures, but really it’s been a completely positive experience. Bloggers are all just awesome!
And I think even when you don’t necessarily pay attention to the rules of fashion, most people tend to choose things that are flattering to them personally (I know I do!), so even if it’s not a traditionally flattering piece, it’s flattering to your style. Know what I mean? 🙂
You should! Have fun with it!

Salazar

16 April, 2013 at 7:27 am

Thank you for this honest post. I was pretty much the same way like you were before I started my blog: I wore jeans and T-shirts and sweaters and sneakers and that was it. And I hated having my photos taken, let alone taking pictures of myself. And now look how far we’ve come, right?

Eccentric Owl

16 April, 2013 at 12:33 pm

I agree. It’s crazy how much it changes you! I’m so glad I started blogging. 🙂

Neri

16 April, 2013 at 5:55 pm

I wrote a post a few weeks ago where I talked about how self conscious I was after giving birth. There are basically no pictures of me anywhere from that period of my life, and that makes me a little sad. Through my own self-loathing about the way I looked, I completely missed a gorgeous shot of what could quite possibly be my son’s first ever smile caught on camera. Blogging about my experiences has definitely helped me shake that silly fear of bad skin or terrible clothing choices, and instead just focus on the precious memory that has been captured.

Thank you for sharing such an honest post.

Eccentric Owl

18 April, 2013 at 12:52 pm

I can imagine it would be hard to have pictures taken at such a time, when your body has changed vastly from what you’re used to and you don’t feel the confidence that you had pre-baby. I’m sure I’ll go through that phase as well when the time comes. But I’m so glad blogging has helped you shake that fear! People definitely don’t judge like you’d think they would, and getting a picture of wonderful memories is definitely worth it!

Jamie Rose

22 April, 2013 at 2:25 am

You look so gorgeous! I love the striped top and the color of that skirt. Your makeup looks super pretty too!
I’m so glad blogging has boosted your confidence. I think it just made me more confident around the people who stared at me on campus just because I was wearing something other than leggings as pants and gigantic t-shirts. I decided I didn’t care because they’re just boring! Plus I saw all the bloggers with their cute outfits and was so inspired to just keep doing my own thing. I love reading style blogs because most of the girls are normal people with different heights and shapes.
P.S. I think your shape is fantastic and you definitely do a great job flattering it with your outfits!

Mattea Norman

30 April, 2013 at 5:51 pm

I’m late on the draw on this one

mattea

30 April, 2013 at 6:06 pm

(oops, sorry about that)

I’m a little late in reading this post, but it felt so similar! I haven’t been blogging regularly, let alone pictures of myself (yet), but the change between who I was even just a couple years ago is quite surprising! While I don’t live in skirts and dresses and still wear jeans, I wear more than boot cut and basic shirts. I used to work at a camp, so dressing nice isn’t much of an option, and not having much spare income I didn’t like spending much money on clothes, and kept most thrifting to ironic tees. I got married at 24 and I think that was a major turning point, like you said, having a hot man think your bod is sexy is surprisingly empowering! I also found a love of the creativity of fashion, of making your own ensembles, of making your clothing/outfits unique and your own. And seeing the variety of ensembles helped me learn how to style my own body shape!

I hang out with high schoolers a lot, and it seems hard to find that balance, though, between using style/fashion to empower and where it becomes controlling and demeaning. Seems like confidence is the deciding factor?

Syren

15 April, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Definitely, before blogging I would never take selfies. Or wear what I wanted. Ever. And I was very trapped and thanks to blogging I realized that I don’t care what others think of me. I speak. They think I’m annoying? I speak more. They can leave when they want, I ain’t going anywhere.
(Also I learned to not care about what “flatters my looks” or makes me “blend in” because I’m not a fashionista, instead I wear colours and patterns I want and I mix and match the way I like it.)
(I still sort of wish I was confident enough to start a fashion blog. Maybe one day though…)
- Eccentric Owl
  
  16 April, 2013 at 12:19 pm
  
  And I think the bright side to saying what you want to and speaking your mind is that you find people who do like you and do enjoy reading your opinion! I think I was always afraid that there would be naysayers or “mean” commenters when I started posting outfit pictures, but really it’s been a completely positive experience. Bloggers are all just awesome!
  And I think even when you don’t necessarily pay attention to the rules of fashion, most people tend to choose things that are flattering to them personally (I know I do!), so even if it’s not a traditionally flattering piece, it’s flattering to your style. Know what I mean? 🙂
  You should! Have fun with it!
Salazar

16 April, 2013 at 7:27 am

Thank you for this honest post. I was pretty much the same way like you were before I started my blog: I wore jeans and T-shirts and sweaters and sneakers and that was it. And I hated having my photos taken, let alone taking pictures of myself. And now look how far we’ve come, right?
- Eccentric Owl
  
  16 April, 2013 at 12:33 pm
  
  I agree. It’s crazy how much it changes you! I’m so glad I started blogging. 🙂
Neri

16 April, 2013 at 5:55 pm

I wrote a post a few weeks ago where I talked about how self conscious I was after giving birth. There are basically no pictures of me anywhere from that period of my life, and that makes me a little sad. Through my own self-loathing about the way I looked, I completely missed a gorgeous shot of what could quite possibly be my son’s first ever smile caught on camera. Blogging about my experiences has definitely helped me shake that silly fear of bad skin or terrible clothing choices, and instead just focus on the precious memory that has been captured.

Thank you for sharing such an honest post.
- Eccentric Owl
  
  18 April, 2013 at 12:52 pm
  
  I can imagine it would be hard to have pictures taken at such a time, when your body has changed vastly from what you’re used to and you don’t feel the confidence that you had pre-baby. I’m sure I’ll go through that phase as well when the time comes. But I’m so glad blogging has helped you shake that fear! People definitely don’t judge like you’d think they would, and getting a picture of wonderful memories is definitely worth it!
Jamie Rose

22 April, 2013 at 2:25 am

You look so gorgeous! I love the striped top and the color of that skirt. Your makeup looks super pretty too!
I’m so glad blogging has boosted your confidence. I think it just made me more confident around the people who stared at me on campus just because I was wearing something other than leggings as pants and gigantic t-shirts. I decided I didn’t care because they’re just boring! Plus I saw all the bloggers with their cute outfits and was so inspired to just keep doing my own thing. I love reading style blogs because most of the girls are normal people with different heights and shapes.
P.S. I think your shape is fantastic and you definitely do a great job flattering it with your outfits!
Mattea Norman

30 April, 2013 at 5:51 pm

I’m late on the draw on this one
mattea

30 April, 2013 at 6:06 pm

(oops, sorry about that)

I’m a little late in reading this post, but it felt so similar! I haven’t been blogging regularly, let alone pictures of myself (yet), but the change between who I was even just a couple years ago is quite surprising! While I don’t live in skirts and dresses and still wear jeans, I wear more than boot cut and basic shirts. I used to work at a camp, so dressing nice isn’t much of an option, and not having much spare income I didn’t like spending much money on clothes, and kept most thrifting to ironic tees. I got married at 24 and I think that was a major turning point, like you said, having a hot man think your bod is sexy is surprisingly empowering! I also found a love of the creativity of fashion, of making your own ensembles, of making your clothing/outfits unique and your own. And seeing the variety of ensembles helped me learn how to style my own body shape!

I hang out with high schoolers a lot, and it seems hard to find that balance, though, between using style/fashion to empower and where it becomes controlling and demeaning. Seems like confidence is the deciding factor?

Spread the love!

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Syren

Mattea Norman

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